Revenge of the Fools
by Necrocora
Summary: Ginny accidentally places a curse on Malfoy that makes him obsessed with Harry Potter and Teletubbies and must find a way to take it off before anyone suspects it isn't just an April Fool's Day joke. FINISHED and in the editing process
1. Pictures in the library

A/N hey everyone, thanx for reading my story, unless your gonna not like it and flame me, beause then I really don't like you haha. I am here to say from very mountain top "I AM OBSESED WITH HARRY POTTER (or as the code goes now; IAM OBSESSED WITH LOUIS THE XV!' hehe yea, if our teacher askes, this is a history paper wink::wink. Yea im doing this with the help of my crazy buddies Abby (crazyfriendsfan) and Mac, at school that is. So yea, I got a little to hyper to work and was reading fanfic on the comp, but then I thought I'd write a story for my self! And guess what, I thought right, its tons of fun, I've gotten a few curious looks from laughing but lol who cares. We even made code names.hence LOUIS THE XV hehe. So yea I guess heres the story, enjoy : )

IN CASE OF ANY CONFUSION, I DON'T OWN ANY HARRY POTTER RIGHTS. I AM NOT J K ROWLING.

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It was the morning of April Fool's Day, Ginny was sitting in the empty library binding together a full length skeleton made out of actual animal bones Fred and George had filched from someone. To the unsuspecting observer it might seem that she was working on a class project, but the reality was something quite different. Who ever had said Ginny was going to grow up to be like Percy was totally wrong. Fred and George were her favorite brothers, and it didn't help that Ron had thrown his lot in with the always adventuring Harry Potter. She was only following a Weasley tradition at this point. If Ginny got her way you'd have to look over your shoulder twice before even taking a step. This was going to be the most amazing April Fool's Day ever.

The skinny red head looked at the skeleton for a few seconds. She wrinkled her nose at the final product, obviously unsatisfied, then gave a slight flick of her wand binding together the ribs of the skeleton she had previously broken. It was time to go back to the drawing board. Ginny groaned and ran her hand through her hair as she propped one elbow up on the edge of the table.

"You think he's on to us?" Ron's similar red head poked around the corner.

"What are you talking about? You know, when I said I wanted to come to the stacks I meant for study. Why'd he care about us studying?" Hermione's brown wavy haired head poked along beside Ron's. One of the nice things about being a witch was that you could make yourself look so much better than you actually were, hence Hermione's now normal length teeth and now wavy instead of bushy hair. Actually, Ginny felt a little sorry for Hermione considering that all the work that she put into her appearance was only for her brother. Yick. Ginny really didn't want to know the details on that relationship.

"Are you trying to tempt me?" Ron looked positively frustrated.

"No, I'm trying to study." Hermione pulled a book out of the shelf and smacked it down onto the table as she sat. "And you should study too, by the way. Hmmm… look it's a new potion!"

"You're no fun, you know that?" Ron had that disgruntled look about himself. His defeated expression was pointed downwards towards the table.

At this point Hermione had had enough of her teasing as well. "You're so much fun when you've had your fix of green m&ms." Hermione said as she looked at Ron mischievously. Suddenly Ron looked quite a bit cheerier. They were halfway draped across the table as they continued their snogging session. With all that extra saliva, it was not something pleasant to see.

Ginny cleared her throat uncomfortably, hoping that they would finally take notice. It was apparent, however, that they had already become lost in their cloud of hormones.

"I knew it!" Ginny exclaimed, but there was no response from the busy couple. She then loudly cleared her throat. "I knew it!" she exclaimed again somewhat desperately this time when they took no notice of her. "YES! MY LUCKY DAY! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SHOOT A PORNO! CAN YOU TAKE HIS PANTS OFF NOW?!" she yelled while pulling out a camera.

The couple froze in mid smooch then slowly began turning towards Ginny. The stunned puckered expressions on their faces were completely moronic. It was quite amusing actually.

"I wasn't kidding you know. I think you'd be the perfect stars. How about the title, 'What Harry Doesn't Know?' Sound good to everyone?" The moronic couple was still stunned. Ginny supposed it was because of the fact that they had been discovered. Although, if they thought that no one knew about their obscene couplehood they were, well, moronic. Ginny continued with the porno thread since she still wasn't getting any response. "We'll have to fix a few things. For instance, no one likes a porno with excessive saliva, unless it comes from the female, and there has to be more sperm involved."

"W-What are you d-doing h-here?" Hermione finally stammered out.

"I was working on a project, but now let me excuse myself so I can go puke." Ginny said while pretending to gag.

Hermione perked up at the mention of the word project. She came to stand over the skeleton that Ginny had been spelling, with no obvious understanding of what it was for. "What kind of project has to do with a skeleton exactly?" Hermione asked inquisitively while peering at the yellowing bones.

"Wait, aren't those from Snape's store room?" piped Ron, speaking up for the first time since their initial encounter. The sight of while looking at the limp skeleton lying on the table.

"Who knows? Who cares anyway, they'll be going back to wherever they came from. If I can ever figure out what to do to them…"

"Oh, okay. Well then, put bunny ears on him."

Ginny rolled her eyes. Why did Ron have to be the stupid one in the family? It was like something terribly wrong happened to him at birth. "Ummm… lame? Can't you think of something actually worth doing? Like a spell or something like that."

From Hermione's side came a sudden light bulb moment. "Oooo… you should spell it to stalk people! Or not, since that's probably against school rules…"

"Wait, what is this for?"

For the zillionth time that morning, Ginny let out one of her long drawn out groans, except this one was exceptionally exasperated. "Ron, you know perfectly well that today is April Fool's Day, other then that I'm not telling you a single thing." For the first time ever she had successfully restrained from calling him a dimwit, although one could never get it across to him too often or too venomously.

"I still think you should give him bunny ears," said Ron sorely.

"What ever made you think it was a he?" Ginny sniped back at him. Sibling rivalry was too fun sometimes.

"Then put bunny ears on 'her'."

"What makes you think it's a she?"

"I'm a guy, I just know these things!"

Ginny stood in front of the skeleton so that they couldn't see it and at the same time she grabbed Ron's wand and stuck it right in the middle of the pelvis bone. "There, now it's a guy."

"Wow, you know, it kind of looks like Snape." Ron pushed Ginny aside so that Hermione could see too.

"Ron, how could you say a thing like that? Even Snape doesn't look that good." Hermione practically purred. Ginny stopped. Hermione purred?! How weird was that!

"Uh, Hermione? You got a thing with Mr. Skelo?"

"If I had one would I tell you?"

"You're sick Hermione you know that? Really sick."

"I'm not the one who has a hidden stash of PlayWizard."

"Well, I'm not the one who has it going for Mr. Skelo."

"And how could I have a thing for Mr. Skelo when I've got a thing for my little Weasley-poo?"

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! How can you talk about Ron like that?! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW." Ginny said, turning somewhat green.

"Wow, Gin, did you charm the wand? Uhhh…interesting effect" Hermione said changing the subject.

"What do you mean?"

Hermione grabbed Ginny's shoulders and spun her around to face the skeleton, which was now being illuminated by the sparks flying out of Ron's wand.

"Gees Ginny, your mind's gone sick. That seriously doesn't look right." Ron exclaimed

"Well, excuse me? I didn't do a single blasted thing to that wand. And if that grosses you out how do you live with yourself?"

"Good one." Hermione gave Ginny a high five.

"What are you doing?!" All of them whirled around to see Madame Pince scowling at them from the librarian's desk.

"We're just studying for Defense against the Dark Arts." Hermione lied calmly without hesitation. "The history of Vampires is so interesting; I didn't understand until now how Vampires managed to keep themselves hidden until three hundred years ago."

Even with Hermione's lie Madame Pince was still suspicious. She descended upon them, conveniently choosing to pick up one of Ron's study books. She flipped it open to where Ron had hidden his month old copy of PlayWizard.

"Ten Things She'll Really Like, And We Mean in B- RON WEASELY HOW DARE YOU BRING THIS TO HOGWARTS!!! I'M SENDING A LETTER TO YOUR MOTHER TO INFORM HER ABOUT THIS!!! THIS IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY INAPPROPRIOTE!!! DO YOU HEAR ME WEASLEY? "

Ron looked stunned with an expression of pure surprise on his face.

"Hermione." Ginny gave Hermione a little wink then nudged Hermione with her elbow a little. Hermione's face gave way to a wicked grin then she began. "Ron, Madame Pince is absolutely right, how could you bring such revolting things to Hogwarts? It's disgusting."

"Hermione, w-what are you doing?" Ron looked petrified

"Oh, I think you heard me." Hermione started with false coldness. "If you're on green M&Ms and you can't get it out of me you'll get it out of anyone."

"What are you talking about? You have it for Mr. Skelo and me, that's cheating for your information." Now it was Madame Pince's turn to look bewildered.

Ginny suddenly had a brilliant idea. Quietly she stalked off directly behind Madame Pince as the librarian was distracted lecturing Ron.

"Wow, Madame Pince, those knickers are really amazing!" It echoed throughout the whole library. Madame Pince turned around slowly, really slowly, and Ginny could see her face become beet red.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, April Fool's Day! Run!!!" Ginny sprinted out of the library to escape whatever punishment Madame Pince had meant to give her. Unfortunately she ran head on into something, that something was blonde and, at the moment, very under her.

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A/N Ohh, I know you know who the blond dude is.


	2. A seemingly Gay Draco

A/N As you can tell I am extremely hyper, and annoying loads of people in my class for writing this story. Who gives? I'm a happy little hyper person right now. And I seriously feel like being mean to Draco. Hehehehe...  
  
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"Get off!" Ginny immediately recognized the voice and it was someone she seriously didn't want to be on.  
  
"Malfoy." She hissed at him and forgot all about trying to keep composure as she scrambled to get off.  
  
"Weasley, you better hope you didn't do any permanent damage." He lowered his head slightly and sniffed at his jet black cloak. For some odd reason he looked very repulsed. "I smell like Weasley!"  
  
Ginny smelled her own faded blue cloak. "God, can't you go a little less on the after shave? Oh, wait a minute," Ginny mock sniffed her cloak," Do you have a problem going to the loo? Maybe you should use a funnel."  
  
For once in his life Draco Malfoy was at a loss for words; it wasn't often that the littlest Weasley talked back at him. An idea struck Ginny when she saw the look of utter bewilderment cross his face.  
  
"Say cheese, oh Draki-O." Ginny whipped out the recently used Kadok and took a quick snap shot. The flash of light temporarily stunned him. Taking advantage of his momentary stunned state she copied his famous smirk and walked off leaving an extremely stupefied Draco Malfoy gaping after her.  
  
"You can't do that, my- my hair is still messed up from when you fell on me! You're not going to show that picture to anyone, are you?" He shouted down the corridor at her.  
  
"This'll be an April Fool's Day to remember." Ginny mumbled to herself under her breath.  
  
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It was still very early in the morning, but not so early that the Great Hall wouldn't have breakfast ready. The opening of the Great hall found Ginny eating at the Gryffindor table under a rather odd poster. Let's just say it was 20 by 25 feet hanging on the wall and picturing two (ummmmm) guys simultaneously snogging each other. To make that poster even worse it pictured Ron and Malfoy kissing each other.  
  
Ginny was eating silently not doing anything to be noticed when a very sleepy-eyed Ron and Hermione pair and a very disheveled Malfoy walked into the room. They only had to look once at the crowd of people laughing and gathering around it to notice the humongous photo.  
  
"Hey look there's the snogging couple!" Someone shouted from the crowd.  
  
"Let's go get their autograph!" Another one shouted in response.  
  
Ron stared in disbelief at the picture. "Who could've gotten a picture of that?" He looked at Hermione.  
  
Hermione looked a little confused until the realization dawned on her. Her mouth dropped open even further then it should've gone. Ron had to elbow her before she even had the nerve to talk. "I-In the library Ginny took a picture of us snogging. Do you remember when we ran into Malfoy right after that?"  
  
Ron's face shuddered violently with held in anger and stalked over. He tapped the rather proud Ginny Weasley on the shoulder. "Ginny." He growled it at her while his face turned from its normal color to a bright red to a spectrum of colors before settling on a pale white.  
  
"Oh, hi Ron." Ginny said cheerfully not looking at him.  
  
Ron let out a growl and launched himself at her. Ginny's eyes widened at him but then she darted out of the way and began running her butt out of the Great Hall.  
  
"GINNY!" Ron sprinted after her as soon as he regained his balance.  
  
Draco Malfoy who was staring stupidly for the second time that morning came back to reality when he heard Ron's shout. Suddenly he understood who had made that poster and began sprinting after her as well. "GINNY YOU BLASTED WEASLEY YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO GET IT THIS TIME!"  
  
Ginny looked over her shoulder for a quick second to see where Ron was, to her surprise she saw Malfoy chasing after her too. "Blast it, I've got to be more subtle next time." Ginny thought to herself.  
  
"Petrificus Totalus." Ginny shouted as she gave a flick of her wand at Ron.  
  
Ron stopped dead and fell over without twitching a muscle. Making Malfoy slow down to avoid tripping over a full body bound Ron. "Mphmpwspd." Ron tried to grunt through his mouth, which was now completely snapped shut.  
  
Ginny disappeared around the corner and let herself keep flat against the wall breathing slowly waiting for Malfoy to run by her so she could play her second trick on him.  
  
Unfortunately for Malfoy he knew exactly where she was so he snuck up quietly so that she couldn't hear him. The only thing he didn't know was the surprise she had in store for him. He whipped around the corner grabbing a surprised Ginny who could only do one thing.  
  
"Amoraepottwinky." Ginny shouted as she closed her eyes in surprise, expecting something more to come. It never did.  
  
Ginny squinted one eye open only to see a Malfoy in a state of retarded bliss, still holding on to her. A line of drool hung out of his mouth as he looked at the wall behind her.  
  
"Row, row, row, your boat gently down the stream. Where's Harry? Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. I've got to tell him something." Draco continued to ramble under his breath, something about Harry Potter for all Ginny could tell. Of course the part about Harry was practically impossible to hear because it was always in a tangle with in childhood songs.  
  
Her eyes widened once again when she heard the new, higher, more feminine voice of Draco.  
  
"Oops. Wrong spell." Ginny began weakly as the now rather retarded Draco kept on rambling.  
  
Draco let go of her and looked dumbly at himself. A look of bliss began to grow on his face again. He began to skip down the hall singing softly to himself. "Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share. Must find Potter. Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere. Need him now."  
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A/N Next chapter will tell what I did to poor little (now retarded) Draco. You'll never guess. Well okay, I did leave a few hints. 


	3. Hinky Po

A/N Thanks to crazyfriendsfan, Mac, and Lauren for reviewing. Mac, you're right, I do know you too well, and I know I'm not getting into the 'for control' category *sniggers*. Although I would really like to see what your freaked review would look like if I made one in the 'for control' category. Abby, you're a super duper reviewer (and dialogue helper). Mac thanks for the same thing. Oh, this is NOT a G/D. It just has to do a lot with Draco.  
  
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A very irritated Mcgonagall had removed the large picture of Draco and Ron before a large part of the breakfast crowd wandered in finally, checking to see what they had missed. What irritated mcgonagall even more was the fact that even trying to magically remove it some of the picture still remained, and it was still very obvious who they were and what they were doing. The blurry outlines of Ron and Draco could still be seen snogging. Occasionally the disheveled Draco in the picture would try unsuccessfully to put his hair back into order. It was funny to a number of people in the Great Hall that Draco's vanity could be captured in the image, especially to the muggle-borns.  
  
Harry had just barely gotten into the breakfast hall when the gossip girl of Gryffindor, Cici Peterson, and her boyfriend, Aaron Greener had begun to feed him the dirt on Ron.  
  
"Ron's supposedly got a thing for Draco." The fifth year Gryffindor girl stated matter-of- factly.  
  
"I wouldn't be so sure." The seventh year Ravenclaw guy said reassuringly. "Ginny's got to do with this somehow. I saw Ron and Draco chasing after her."  
  
"You've got that wrong Aar-buddy-oh-boy. Ron was chasing Ginny because he's convinced that Ginny's trying to make off with his man. It isn't true of course because little Drakie-O can't live with out Ron. He neeeeeeds Ron, he looooooves Ron, I wonder if they've done the-" Cici was interrupted in mid-eye flutter.  
  
"Cici, curiosity killed the cat you know."  
  
"There's some serious dirt here. Get the facts for me will you Harry?" She looked at him pleadingly. "Ohh, there's your chance, Ron's back from the hospital wing."  
  
"Hospital wing?" Harry's emerald green eyes widened in stupefaction. "Why would he need to go to the hospital wing?"  
  
"Rough se-"  
  
"For the last time, Cici, SHUT UP!!!" Aaron shouted directly into her face.  
  
"I just want the dirt, Gees." Cici grumbled under her breath then brightened up considerably. "I just noticed that Ron has big feet, maybe Draco noticed too."  
  
"Are those muggle sex novels getting to your mind?!" Aaron slapped his hand over her mouth.  
  
"Mmph." Cici glared downwards at Aaron's hand.  
  
"Ginny put a full-body-binding spell on Ron, he was practically right outside the hospital wing door when she put it on him."  
  
"Oo, oo, better theory. Ron wanted Ginny's condoms and she wouldn't give them to him so him and Draco chased after her to attack her and steal them."  
  
Harry turned away from the busily arguing couple and made his way to the other side of the Hall where Ron was. "Ron, we need to talk."  
  
The towering redhead turned to face Harry with an expression of irritability crossing his face. "I don't want to talk, okay?"  
  
"Ron, no seriously, we need to talk." Harry made his point by sitting in the chair next to Ron.  
  
"It's about the picture isn't it?" Ron flushed red up to his roots but still said nothing.  
  
"Yes." Harry nodded solemnly.  
  
"You're just getting the dirt for Cici aren't you?" Ron asked suspiciously.  
  
"No-"  
  
"That's what she always says and she leaks it one way or another. I'm not gay got it? I'm as far away from being gay that you can get. You tell her that." Ron got up from the table.  
  
"Ron this is just a stage of denial. You can tell me the truth." Harry stood up at the same time to prevent Ron from leaving their interesting discussion.  
  
"I am telling the truth." If it was possible Ron flushed even redder.  
  
"Ron I know this is hard for you but-" Harry said in an attempted to continue talking to Ron.  
  
"WHAT PART OF I'M NOT GAY DO YOU NOT GET?" Ron shouted furiously so loud that to whole hall turned silent to hear the argument. Luckily for them something rather odd was going on at the Slytherin table.  
  
"I love you, you love me. We all need to snog so snog now! We're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. Snog, I say, snog, snog.Won't you say you love me too. I need HINKY-PO NOW!" Draco was dressed up in a short little purple cloak with TELETUBBIES printed all over it in bold white letters. A headband with purple upside down triangle stuck to it was perched on top of his uncombed white blond hair. At the last part he began to sob uncontrollably.  
  
"And you call me gay." Ron smirked at Harry.  
  
"Fine you're not gay." Harry finally admitted, with a small sigh.  
  
Malfoy stopped sobbing and started up again. "Nobody is snogging! When I say snog I mean SNOG!!!" He jumped on top of the table and started to push any two peoples faces together spontaneously. "Snog, snog, snog, snog, snog." His boots made loud clanking noises as he ran up and down the table continuing the snogging chant. "Tinky-winky had a farm Ee-I-Ee-I-O-" The song stopped in a dead silence when Draco saw Harry.  
  
"Hi." Harry said weakly waving a little hand to every one watching.  
  
"Hinky-Po!" Draco cried out joyously and tried to grab Harry.  
  
Harry, who was already quite bewildered about Draco's behavior earlier, was now horrified at Draco's attempts to drag him onto the table.  
  
"Harry, either you can stay here and accept his rather odd apology for seven years of bloody hell or you can do what I recommend, RUN!!!" Harry comprehended the meaning of what Ron was saying in a mere flash second and sprinted out of the hall before Draco could do any more damage.  
  
A/N Boy, now I'm feeling good. I just love to tease Draco. 


	4. Mellow Yellow

A/N Lalala I'm on a roll here peoples, move outta the way. Thank you to all my fans, although at the moment most of them are only reading my story because I'm threatening to nail them if they don't and they help with the story anyways. I'm in *retarded bliss*, I love that phrase, I also love the snogging song. Anyway. Whooo-hooo! New fan! Sad Strange Little Girl! Thank you soooo much for the review! And thanks again to crazyfriendsfan who is now my expert rambler. You can tell the part that she helped with the most ::wink::wink:: Don't know why in the bloody hell I'm winking! Maybe I have a twitch. Anyway Chapter 4 is now posted. So READ AND REVIEW!!! Keyword: REVIEW!!!  
  
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Ginny's red head poked out from the space under the bed, its curls sprawled against the floor in an unkempt manner. "Bugger, bugger, oh blast it! WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL AM I GOING TO DO!" The curly mop swept out of view. Bang, bang, bang! "STUPID FILTHY MALFOY! HE ALWAYS GETS IN THE WAY OF EVERYTHING!" Bang, bang, bang!  
  
The mattress was jumping out of its frame over and over again. Blankets flew all over her dorm mates' belongings. A lampshade was broken by a thrown pillow and preceded to scatter the shattered glass on top of the mashed bedding. Ginny's wardrobe chest snapped open and dumped all its contents out. Bottles of ink seeped into the floor leaving multi-colored stains in the bright red rug.  
  
She poked her head back out from under the bed and looked around the room. "Wow, I didn't know I could do that!" She said while surveying the mess with heightened eyebrows. "Well, I suppose Mcgonagall won't have to know if I go against the rules again." She sighed and gave a flick of her wand, magically putting the room back into order. Her eyes narrowed in concentration as she surveyed the room for a second time. Finally pleased at the state of the room she gave a satisfied nod and fixed her unkempt hair into a loose ponytail and the nape of her neck. She then straightened and dust off her now dust covered robes and proceeded out into the common room. There was no possible why that she could go to class today, she needed to fix Malfoy first.  
  
"Fuck the bloody bastard!" She kicked the stones of the fireplace as hard as she could without thinking and found herself hopping around on one foot in pain. "Blasted wall!" She kicked it again sending her into another wild frenzy of hopping around the common room on one foot.  
  
"Well, blast it!" Ginny muttered to herself. "Where the hell am I supposed to find the cure to accidental spells?" Without much thought she plopped down onto the couch in a state of vegetation. Finally decided to go steal Harry's invisibility cloak and over toward the 7th year boys dorm to steal Harry's Invisibility cloak.  
  
"Hello?" Ginny asked the seemingly empty room. Then she swept over the room again and saw a bit of brown hair sticking out from under Ron's covers. Ginny immediately connected it to Hermione since, after all, she had seen Ron and Hermione kissing in the library.  
  
"Oh my god Hermione, you're just the person I needed to talk to. You see I accidentally put this curse on Malfoy and I'm not really sure what I did. Ron was just chasing me in the hall and I put him in a full body bind and then I was going to do that special teeth lengthening one on Draco but he snuck up on me and I said something really odd I have no idea what it was. Something with Amorae in it I think. It was supposed to be an April Fool's Day joke but stupid Malfoy had to ruin it all. And now I have no idea what is happening to him. Not that I saw him much after I cast the spell, but right after I did he was staring a the wall in a retarded bliss, drooling. And then he stared singing 'Row-Row-Row Your Boat' and inbetween lines, mumbling about Harry, I guess he meant Harry Potter, because that's the only Harry I know. Oh dear, I hope Malfoy doesn't do any thing to Harry. I don't know, do you think this could all be just an April Fools Day joke on me?" Ginny paused for a breath, because that all came out in a rush. When she got no response, she continued with her rambling. "Oh that would be just wonderful if it was, not that it's very funny though. It's quite stupid if you ask me, not that anyone would. Do you know if Ron or Harry or someone was responsible for this?" For the second time Ginny paused for breath and waited for a response.  
  
"Hermione, it is you, isn't it?" Ginny gasped out.  
  
The person under the blankets sat up and commenced to talk in a far out voice. "Ginny is that you? I haven't seen you for so long."  
  
"Oh, phew, it is you." Ginny walked up and tugged at the bedspread hanging loosely over Hermione's head.  
  
The blankets fell away to reveal Hermione sitting cross-legged in her PJ's on Ron's bed. Ginny suddenly had the impulse to look at the clock hanging off the wall. It's long arm rested near the six and the short arm was resting on the ten. An abrupt realization occurred to her,  
  
"HERMIONE!" Ginny exclaimed in surprise. "Why aren't you in class?"  
  
"Why should I go to class when I can wait for Ron?" Hermione continued dreamily and began pushing her head back and forth using her fingertips.  
  
"Hermione, this is so unlike you. Ever since you came here you've been grade obsessive, atleast from what I've heard form Ron and Harry." Ginny paused with a suspicious look in her eye. "Not to butt into your private life or anything, but. have you and Ron been sleeping together?" Ginny asked cautiously trying to confirm her suspicions.  
  
Hermione looked away and fell back into the wrinkled mattress with a twinkle in her eye. Ginny was rather shocked at Hermione's behavior, it struck her as.mellow.  
  
"Hermione, you didn't by any chance eat the Mellow Yellows on my chest did you?"  
  
The dreamy eyed Hermione sat up again. "Is that what they were? They were really good, they didn't taste anything like the soda." She fell back again oblivious of the murderous look Ginny was shooting at her.  
  
"How many did you eat?" Ginny said it more like a statement then a question as she circled around to look at Hermione, who was still looking very dreamy.  
  
"I don't remember. All I know is that by the time I had finished eating, all the candies in the box were gone." Hermione shifted her dreamy gaze at the ceiling and continued to talk in her own mellow way.  
  
"HERMIONE! THOSE ARE-" Ginny cut off with a look of horror on her face. "The whole box? You ate the WHOLE box? THAT'S OVER TWENTY MELLOW YELLOWS!" Ginny grabbed Hermione's wrist and proceeded to pull her out of bed.  
  
" What are you doing?" Hermione looked at Ginny in her now very annoying dreamy state.  
  
Ginny didn't even bother to respond as she dragged Hermione out of the boys dormitory. Hermione stalled and looked back at the dormitory. "Ron is going to be so disappointed."  
  
"Yeah, well, will you just shut up about 'Ron being disappointed' and get your ass moving?" What was supposed to be a question came out more like a order. Hermione looked as if she had been slapped and walked with Ginny grudgingly but she still managed to keep that dreamy look in her eyes.  
  
A/N Hehe now I'm being mean to Hermione, but atleast I'm not making her dress up like tinky-winky and sing the snogging song. 


	5. Auras

A/N I'm being very very very naughty. I'm writing this very late, and ,in fact, I am not even supposed to be on the computer but, hehehe, I am. ::wink::wink:: Stupid twitch is coming on again. Anyway Strange Sad little girl, you don't know how much that review meant to me. It's kind of down falling when the people who review you are the same as usual. I'm trying to meet as many people as I can. I'm not dissing you or anything Abby, I'm just saying that it's nice to have new reviewers. I think I just pissed my parents off very much by singing the snogging song at the top of my lungs. Yes, there is an actual snogging song, I just made it up a minute ago. It goes like this:  
  
Snog, snog, Snog me please, the world needs snogging all the time, all you need is a little bit of lippie, and a little bit of lips, sometimes a little tongue, but just shut up and snog me please, I need to be snogged. Snog, snog, snog, snog. and so forth, you get the gist.  
  
Yes, I am obsessed with the word 'snog' though I am even more obsessed with 'fag' (as in ciggie, as in I am smoking my fag), and although I also like the word 'shag' it does not appear very often in my vocabulary. Anyway. on to the story.  
  
~^***^~^***^~^***^~  
  
Hermione and Ginny were just rounding a corner when a very out of breath and very talkative Cici almost bulldozed over them. "Ginny! Just the person I was looking for-"  
  
"Sorry, can't talk." Ginny mumbled at Cici, or at least in the direction of Cici.  
  
"Cici, when did you get an aura? Wow, purple, and orange! That's my favorite color. I think that's my favorite color at least." Hermione began waving her arms around wildly then stopped and looked dumbly at the stones making up the wall thinking about the twist she had put herself in. Then she turned towards Ginny and smiled again. "Ginny, god, your aura is gorgeous. Everything is so beautiful! Wow, the stones got auras too." Hermione trailed off as she smiled blissfully at the stones and Cici and Ginny.  
  
Cici looked purely confused about the auras and looked strangely at Hermione. She twisted to look behind her to make sure Hermione wasn't talking to someone else.  
  
"As you can see, I am very busy. Buh-bye!" Ginny said cheerfully and grabbed Hermione's wrist and made to dash off before Cici regained herself.  
  
"I love you Cici! I don't want to die! Save me, save me!" Hermione hollered in her now famous far out voice in Cici's direction and broke down in tears creating a dead weight for Ginny. "There's a light at the end of the tunnel, god it's beautiful. Save me, Cici, save me!"  
  
Cici ran in front of Ginny and pushed her back with a questioning spark in her eyes. "No way! There could be no way. She couldn't be on. Could she?"  
  
Ginny laughed at Cici's attempts to keep her composure. "In English, please?"  
  
"The light the light!" Hermione said in a calm mellow voice but she was practically scratching her eyes out of their sockets.  
  
"Is Hermione on.drugs?" Cici looked deadly serious and extremely worried, it didn't help much that Hermione was still ranting on about Ginny trying to kill her and 'the light'.  
  
"Cici, please do tell me what drugs are, I need to hear this in WIZARD English." Ginny didn't make a point of looking worried.  
  
"Drugs are, you know, muggle stimulants. It kills off brain cells permanently. Which could mean that Hermione could be like this, forever!" Cici began to vibrate violently turning a deathly white.  
  
"I am a golden god! You tell rolling stone magazine that my last words were.....I'm on drugs!" Hermione shouted raising her arms above her head in a conquest position. She was yelling at the top of her lungs, it didn't help that Ginny was standing right next to her and taking the full blunt of the volume.  
  
Cici groaned and rolled her eyes at Hermione. "Don't play along."  
  
Ginny looked confused. "What do you mean?  
  
"Hermione's repeating lines from the muggle film 'Almost Famous.'"  
  
"What's that got to do with the 'don't play along' thing?"  
  
Cici looked away and smacked Hermione. "You idiot, its 'I dig music.'"  
  
Hermione looked as if her brain had just short circuited and then she scowled at Cici and turned back to the stone auras.  
  
Ginny finally began to get it and had to wipe tears away from her eyes, it was all just too funny! Ginny turned back to her serious side to explain to Cici what was going on. "Hermione isn't on drugs, she's just had an overdose of mellow yellows."  
  
"Mellow yellows. That's what they were, that cant's be right. I DRINK mellow yellows and home." Hermione stared off the stones again, apparently checking out their auras.  
  
"Wouldn't she be very high on sugar now?" Cici looked at Hermione with a bewildered expression fixed on her face.  
  
"Not the muggle soda you dolt, the candy!"  
  
"Oh." Cici began mentally smacking herself for acting like such an idiot.  
  
"Well, I need to have Madame Pomfrey fix Hermione before she does anymore damage to her reputation."  
  
"What has she done already?" Cici asked curiously.  
  
"Ron's going to be so disappointed." Hermione sighed and continued to look at the auras.  
  
"That, my friend, is none of your gossip girl business." Ginny reached up and pinched the skin of Cici's still round cheeks.  
  
~^***^~^***^~^***^~  
  
"Gees, Ginny, you didn't have to tease me like that! You know I have a soft spot for candy." Hermione said with a wide grin on her face although she was still very peeved about the whole thing.  
  
Madame Pomfrey had given Hermione a horrified look when Ginny had first brought her in to be purged of Mellow Yellows. She had gone around saying things like 'second time this year' and 'don't know what we're going to do with you.' The magical purge had been given to Hermione without a single question, Madame Pomfrey had apparently suspected that Hermione would have another over dose again this year (she had had one on previously on the last day before Christmas break) and was ready. As soon as Hermione had gone back to normal she made Ginny swear not to tell anyone what had happened. Ginny had grudgingly promised although she had planned to let Cici spread a false story, not that it mattered anyway, Cici already had the whole story.  
  
"Ron's going to be so disappointed." Ginny said in a perfect imitation of Hermione's mellow voice.  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
Ginny and Hermione were about do begin the whole immature chase around the school grounds when they heard a very loud feminine version of Draco's voice drawling. "Harry, there's a fine line between love and hate."  
  
~^***^~^***^~^***^~  
  
A/N Mean part with Hermione is over, *sniff* *sniff*. More mean stuff for Draco though. Hehehe. 


	6. A Snogging Session and a Sensitive Ron

A/N Snog, snog, snog, snog. Actually there are no words to the snogging song except snog, and there isn't actually a tune. I guess you can just say snog over and over again to the tune of any song and vouala you've got yourself a snogging song. Thanks to all the usual people. Mac, IF YOU DON'T POST THAT STORY I WILL PERSONALLY DECPAITATE YOU WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS although I'm not entirely sure it's possible, anyway, on to the story.  
  
~^***^~^***^~^***^~  
  
"Hinky Po, there's a fine line between love and hate." Draco had cornered Harry in the hall and was advancing on him. Harry did not seem at all pleased by this or even indifferent about it. His eyes were wide open in a state of shock as he cowered against the wall looking for a way to somehow slip away from the blissful Draco, who was still wearing the little Teletubbies cloak the only difference between him in the Great hall in here was that he had managed to get out of his pants and was running around in purple boxers featuring the teletubbies. It did not look particularly good on him though because normally those boxers did not come in teenager sizes so there were several rips to show how many time Draco had had to try it on before it would even come on. The boxers were so tight, though, that Draco looked like he had a hang belly, which made him all the more revolting.  
  
Ginny and Hermione were still joking around playfully when the rounded the corner and ran into a very dysfunctional couple. Both of them froze at the sight of Draco in the teletubby outfit and stared in horror at the scene playing out before them.  
  
"You don't have to lie, Hinky Po, I know what you're feeling for me." Draco continued to advance while Harry's eyes widened even further.  
  
Beads of sweat began to visibly form on Harry's hairline or at least what could be called a hairline because his hair covered most of it. He had an excuse though, it didn't look like Draco was kidding at all and it certainly didn't look like he would let up.  
  
Draco began to smile charismatically and sing softly, still advancing. "I snog you............"  
  
Harry suddenly became active. "NO!" There was much volume behind it and Harry was shaking his head violently.  
  
"You snog me.........." Draco was closing the distance rapidly.  
  
"GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" Harry pressed even closer against the wall.  
  
"We're a snogging family, with a great big snog, and a snog from me to you, won't you say you'll snog me to." Draco leaned in like he was going to give Harry a VERY big snogging session but Harry sank down and Draco kissed the stones instead.  
  
"Oooo, thought about floor rolling have you? Well so have I!" Draco rubbed his hands together gleefully and prepared to dive on top of Harry.  
  
Fortunately for Harry luck seemed to be with him, at least for the moment. Ginny snapped out her daze just a Draco was going to dive on top of Harry so she ran forward and grabbed the collar of his shirt. Draco bared his teeth gleefully and tried to claw forward although he did not go anywhere. What was not so fortunate was the fact that Draco was about ten inches taller than Ginny had the advantage of strength. He was able to throw her into the wall like he was flicking a fly cursing her for getting in the way of him and his Hinky Po. Right after Ginny's failed attempts Draco launched himself at Harry for the second time, and it seemed like Harry would not be so lucky this time. Hermione snapped out of the daze and jumped on Draco's back giving him enough trouble so that Harry would have a chance to run. Harry did run, and he ran like hell to get as far away from Draco as he could. The star-seeing Ginny threw herself on top of Draco too to help Hermione hold him back.  
  
"Hinky Po!" Draco shouted miserably as he tried to run down the hall with two girls weighting him down.  
  
Ginny gave his cloak a final hard tug forcing him to fall over backwards and sprawl on his back. Between the two girls they managed to pin the very sad Draco to the floor. He was still whispering 'hinky po, hink po' softly under his breath.  
  
Hermione was a little worried about the change that had come over Draco over the past few hours. "Don't you think we should take him to Madame Pomfrey?"  
  
Ginny turned a horrible shade of white before she responded to Hermione. "I don't think that's such a good idea.........."  
  
Hermione looked suspiciously at Ginny. "What's going on?"  
  
"I'll explain that later b-"  
  
Just at that instant Ron turned the corner and saw Ginny's guilty face and Draco's rather oddly clothed body being pinned between them.  
  
"Hermione." He stated softly under his breath and his eyes became wet and red.  
  
"Ron, what are you doing?" Hermione looked bewildered at Ron.  
  
"God-you're-so-*hiccup*-so-beautiful." Ron was crying and there was no doubt about that. He began sobbing wildly and Hermione still looked bewildered but made an effort to comfort Ron. The tip of his nose became red and shiny.  
  
"Ron, what happened?" Hermione asked comfortingly. Ron only began to cry harder and there was no response, not for the moment anyway.  
  
After a few moments of heavy sobbing Ron looked up again, then his eyes hardened and he stopped crying. "Who killed the beetle?" Then he started again at full volume.  
  
Hermione and Ginny both shot questioning looks at each other but it seemed that Ron had made up his mind already. "Ginny, YOU-KILLED-*hiccup*-A- BEETLE!"  
  
Ron was still crying but somehow he managed to launch himself at Ginny and attack her. It didn't take him very long to twist her arm back, but he cried even harder when that happened.  
  
A/N Ron's actually sensitive now, isn't that just revolting? I probably would have had Harry snogged by Draco but for the sake of keeping this story PG-13 I refuse to. 


	7. Draco appearing as Cho!

A/N Okay, special thanks to all my new reviewers. I can't name all of you but, THANKS!!!! There is a little bit of 'gross' stuff in here. But it isn't REALLY gross. I made sure of that. Sorry to Abby if I didn't upload sooner but the last chapter I wrote I didn't like so I didn't up load it, then I lost my disk at intervals, that wasn't very fun. Anyway, here it goes!  
  
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Draco was distressed at his failed opportunity. It was all that damn pair's fault, what a rotten pair. It was only expected though, all Weasleys were associated with Mudbloods. If they hadn't intervened he would've had Hinky Po.  
  
"Hinky Po." Draco growled possessively.  
  
There was one way Draco could get his Hinky Po, and there was one person Harry couldn't resist. Who do you think it was? This particular GIRL was on the Ravenclaw quittich team, more specifically the SEEKER of Ravenclaws quittich team. Yes, it was Cho.  
  
"What's the matter with you?" Ginny was trailing him around to make sure he didn't run into harry and have a disastrous encounter like the last time. Nope, no kissing Hinky Po while Ginny was on his trail.  
  
Draco's messed up mind was already crafting a plan to get rid of her. "Ginny." He stated her name with a blissful far away look in his eyes.  
  
"Draco, don't even try it." Ginny snatched the collar of his short purple cape and dragged him.  
  
"HINKY PO!!!" Draco shouted as loud as he could as he was practically bouncing on his butt along the floor.  
  
"Hey Tinky-winky!" A fellow student shouted back.  
  
"Hinky Po." Another one said with mock sorrow as he exaggerated a groping movement.  
  
There was an uproar of laughter in the hallway. Ginny tried to drag him up before it was noticed by one of the professors. Draco, though, was idiotically stubborn and practically dug his teeth into the floor and refused to budge.  
  
"Come on!" Ginny shouted as she made several more attempts to drag him along.  
  
"Ooo, weasley's with Tinky-winky!" They were all joking and forming a barrier around them.  
  
The situation seemed almost helpless and Ginny actually considered saving herself in exchange for Harry but it was hardly something a weasley would do. So she kept on dragging him as best as she could screaming profanities against his Hinky Po banter. It was useless though, and Mcgonogall seemed to have been made informed of the event from almost the every beginning because within a minute she was tapping patiently on Ginny's shoulder. The crowd broke up, pretending they had never even been aware of what had been going on.  
  
"Ginny," Professor Mcgonagall began coldly, "this is inappropriate behavior Ms. Weasley. I really did not expect you to do such a vile thing. Dragging fellow students by their cloaks is not in school policy. That's 25 points from Gryffindor and detention in the trophy room for you!" Mcgonagall might've said that she considered dragging students inappropriate but she certainly didn't act like it. Within a second Ginny found herself being dragged away from the scene of the crime by her ear.  
  
~^***^~^***^~^***^~  
  
Draco had taken advantage over Mcgonagall's sudden intervention sneaked away. His thoughts strayed back to the former strain of thought. Yes, somehow he needed Cho to talk to Harry.  
  
Then Draco remembered the extra potions he saw professor Snape store. Tapping his fingers together lightly and rocking back and forth, Draco smiled evilly to himself. If it had been anyone else he would have looked dangerously disturbed, but this being the teletubbied Draco he could not look very evil because he still had that blissful smile on his face. In fact he looked HAPPILY disturbed if there was such a thing.  
  
"Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?" Draco sang questioningly under his breath with that blissful look in his eye as he pranced out the hall. Then he yelled really loud. "I AM CHO!" And ran, his teletubby cloak flying behind him.  
  
~^***^~^***^~^***^~  
  
Harry was relatively pleased with himself for getting away from Draco without being snogged at all, and even further pleased because his least favorite class, namely, potions, had gone right. And to add to that it seemed like no one else had any surprises for him, thank god Fred and George weren't there or else April Fool's Day would've been a nightmare.  
  
It was lunch break a Harry wasn't really hungry so he was hanging in the common room doing pretty much nothing. Well, other then trying to find Ron's stash of 'forbidden' magazines, you can guess what those where. He went through the normal hiding places, under the mattress, behind the dresser, in his books, anywhere you wouldn't go, even the knickers drawer. He had no luck and was beginning to be really bored.  
  
"Well, I guess I can just subscribe." Harry muttered to himself even though he knew Sirius would freak and give him the whole nuts and bolts talk way past its due time.  
  
He plopped down on the couch and spent about thirty seconds before deciding it was too boring to sit an do nothing. He bouncily got up again and trotted to the portrait and pushed it open.  
  
"Hin- Harry!" Cho was sitting in a bunch crying very very loudly, it was amazing that he hadn't heard her before. She had looked up as soon as he had open up the porthole.  
  
"Cho! What's wrong?" Harry looked concerned as he squatted next to her.  
  
"M-My boyfriend d-dumped me b-b-because I w-wouldn't have s-" Cho burst out crying.  
  
Harry looked bewildered for a moment and was about to say something to her when she started up again.  
  
"SEX!" That was the point when she completely lost it and flung herself at Harry.  
  
Harry's brain short circuited then he realized that Cho was SNOGGING him, and hard. 'Wow,' harry thought to himself, 'she's finally realized it's ME she wants to make out with.'  
  
The fat Lady in the portrait cleared her throat loudly as if announcing her presence then swung the porthole open without even asking for the password, it would have been rude to interrupt and the fat lady also wanted them out of her sight.  
  
Cho dragged him into the common room and pushed him onto the couch.  
  
"Make me yours." She sighed out and jumped on him.  
  
Harry still could not get himself active enough to kiss her back but at least he was enjoying himself. When he did he wrapped his fingers into her hair and kissed her. He didn't realize something was wrong until he pulled back. The hair in his fingers was no longer black but rather a platinum blond. Harry looked wonderingly at the hair then let his gaze travel to her face. The eyes that met his were silverfish gray.  
  
Harry froze in pure horror. Draco pulled back and sighed. "Oh, drat it, the potion ran out." He paused and looked back at Harry. "Well we can still have fun." He smiled evilly yet again, in his freakish blissful way.  
  
There was only one thing Harry could think of to say. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! GET OFF OF MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"  
  
~^***^~^***^~^***^~  
  
A/N Sorry if it got a little gross but it's actually part of the story, don't worry. It's not there to freak out as many people as I can. 


	8. 50 Ways to Annoy Voldemort

A/N Okay, hopefully I haven't lost any good reviewers because of the guy smoochy part. Isn't it funny that this story isn't about girls snogging guys but about guys snoggin guys? Just asking. If any of you have constructive criticism I'll be happy to take it. MORE than happy. By the way Mac, I found a promotional poster for Harry Potter with Tom and Dan and it says 'Quidditch Anyone?' Pretty good huh? Now, back to the studio (blond hair, mini skirt, fireman's helmet, know who it is?)  
  
~^***^~^***^~^***^~  
  
Ginny was sitting next to Cici and Hermione at the Gryffndor table at lunch time picking at her food unhappily. It was a shocker for that she had finally gotten detention, if for odd reasons! It was not what she was expecting, to get in trouble for dragging Draco! Mcgonagall still thought she was the innocent little girl that had been almost killed by Tom Marvelo Riddle. But, it was an okay thing. Atleast she never had to do detention every single day because every one knew it was her. The only bad thing about it was that no one ever gave her credit for the brilliant (if somewhat classic) pranks that she had pulled off, almost every one thought Fred and George were sneaking into the school.  
  
"You look bright and cheerful." Hermione nudged her with a small knowing smile on her face as she closed her book and looked prepared to talk.  
  
Ginny suddenly realized she was still holding her spoon in her mouth. With a sudden rush of energy she pulled it out with such force that it went flying across the room and hit Professor Mcgonagall in the forehead. Ginny had to turn away fast before Mcgonagall came to her senses and spotted Ginny. She had a face that read 'guilty and irritated' all over.  
  
Cici looked up from her own muggle novel and at the noise. "What's wro- "There was a loud shriek behind Ginny and she burst out laughing. "What's up with Gally?"  
  
Ginny made quick slicing motions with her hand across her throat. "Shh." She whispered frantically.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, little Ginny is afraid of being caught?" Cici said in a babytalking voice, making sure to say it relatively loudly.  
  
"Shut up! She'll hear you!" Ginny slapped her hand across Cici's mouth. The immediate response to that was of course Cici sticking her tongue out of her mouth when the hand was there. Ginny shrieked and held her hand to herself possessively.  
  
"God, you don't have to freak. Mcgonagall isn't even here anymore." Cici said as she laughed. Ginny looked around indignantly, Hermione seemed to have been the only one that heard and she was still shaking with silent laughter.  
  
"It's not funny!" Ginny smacked Hermione hard on the shoulder. That only made her wallop in laughter, tears were streaming down her cheeks.  
  
"You fell for it!" Hermione shrieked out as she tried to wipe away the tears.  
  
Ginny kicked Hermione under the table, to which Hermione kicked her back. Ginny kicked back, this time it was harder. Hermione glared at her for a moment before scooping her hand into the pumpkin pudding and hurling it at Ginny. It landed smack on her face before dribbling down onto her shirt. Ginny looked surprised as she looked down, but that was only for a split second before she took up an evil grin and jumped onto the table with a spoon bent back and loaded in her hand. It let off a twang as Ginny let go and the chocolate syrup splattered all over the front of Hermione's shirt. The expression was truly pricless. Ginny had to laugh.  
  
"FOOD FIGHT!" Someone screamed at the top of their lungs. The whole hall went wild and there were pieces of who knows what flying around in the air. Every one ducked under the tables and hurled food at anyone who was unlucky enough to not be under cover.  
  
"Come on. Let's get out of here before we get busted." Cici yelled at Ginny and Hermione above the hooting and screaming.  
  
They all crawled out form under the table and made a run for the entrance without being splattered once. Not that it mattered. Hermione and Ginny were already a mess. As they looked back at the Great Hall from the entrance they could see a few owls trying to hide themselves in the rafters so that they wouldn't be hit by the flying chunks of food.  
  
~^***^~^***^~^***^~  
  
A few minutes later found them sitting in the peace and quiet of the library reading little jokes and chatting animatedly about what had happened. Ginny had cleaned up and was now wearing another identical set of the uniform. Her face was scrubbed cleaned except for a little place on her forehead that stated in bright glittery black letters 'I survived a food fight.'  
  
Yes, Ginny also had a sticker collection that she created herself. Several of them would not have been found very funny by the Professors, including a few like these: TMR fan club, My Karma ran over my Dogma, The snitch went up my nose, does that count?. There was a new one being made that said 'Ron is going to be so disappointed (Hermione gave no consent to it nor did she know it was being made).'  
  
"Okay, Ginny, you HAVE to read this. It's really good." Cici shoved a scroll under the tip of Ginny's nose. It read:  
  
50 ways to annoy Voldemort  
  
1. Ask him why he doesn't have such a cool scar. 2. Ask him if he has any grey poupon. 3. Wake him up by singing Aretha Franklin, "I will survive..." 4. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.' 5. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices. 6. Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows. 7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess. 8. Dance the Funky Chicken. 9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath 10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again. 11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him. 12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night. 13. Call him 'The-man-who-let-the-boy-live' 14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?' 15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his. 16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals. 17. Be cheerful. 18. When he tries to impress you with his powers say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!' 19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ. 20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.' 21. Teach him how to spit tobacco. 22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? Whats that, a washing detergent?' 23. Keep a 'good-behavior chart'. Award points and give out gold stars. 24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps. 25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there.... 26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one? 27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you. 28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Ever?' 29. Tell him he should really try the 12-step program (baby steps) for Evil Overlords - Evil Overlords Anonymous. 30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly. 31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll. 32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, dark one' whenever he starts to talk of what has caused to become who he is. 33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!' 34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling. 35. Mock his choice of Quirrel as a 'host'. 36. Tell him you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways' 37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head. 38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you 'thought you were helping!' 39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger. 40. Buy him a stress ball. 41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph. 42. Call him Tommy-boy. 43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo. 44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes. 45. Say he 'looked better under the turban' 46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some. 47. Teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'. 48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length. 49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away. 50. 'Imperius' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'  
  
Ginny had to scream out laughing at the end. It was pretty good.  
  
"So you liked it huh? How 'bout I make another one?"  
  
Ginny was nodding enthusiastically but Hermione butted in. "Guys, lunch break is almost over. We have only 5 minutes till class starts!"  
  
"What?!" Ginny and Cici shrieked at Hermione.  
  
"I have to go pick up my Defense against the Dark Arts stuff!" Ginny exclaimed and ran off before they could offer to go with her.  
  
She tore down the hall and almost ran smack dab into the fat lady.  
  
"Tourniquet." Ginny gasped. The porthole swung open and she tore inside.  
  
There was no sign of her DADA homework and scrolls. "Come on." She growled desperately under her breath and ripped open her chest. There was nothing she could see. "Blast it!" She was beginning to be frantic. The chest was emptied of al its contents in a second, then she was throwing all the stuff around. Clothes and quills went flying through the air in a similar manner than the food had. Finally her hands closed over the text book she needed and her scrolls.  
  
"Phew!" She gasped with relief and wiped her forehead with her arm. Her relief was not lived long though.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET OFF OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!"  
  
Ginny jerked her head up in surprise. It sounded like Harry. "Oh, shit." She raced out of the girls dorm and into the common room to confirm her suspicion. Sure enough a very happy looking Draco was trying to make out with Harry and had succeeded in getting on top of him.  
  
"DRACO, GET OFF OF HIM!" ~^***^~^***^~^***^~  
  
A/N Sorry if this chapter disappoints you because you don't get to find out what happens AFTER the smooching part but don't worry the next chapter will be ALL about that. 


	9. Decieving Draco

A/N Sorry if this chapter took so long to come out. I had a trip for three days of the week and then I couldn't get out of the house work. And there were no computers! What do the teachers think we are? People who lived in the middle ages? At least it wasn't that bad. Except for the part where Mac and I were reading Wickedly Delicious until about one in the morning and we didn't know one of the teachers was listening to us the WHOLE ENTIRE BLASTED TIME! And then he brought it up in our parent conferences. Why are most teachers so obnoxious? Anyway, no more excuses.  
  
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Ginny looked down the stairs in shock at the blonde 17 year old was trying to snog a very unwilling Harry. In fact, Harry was so unwilling that he was trying to kick and punch Draco, who seemed to take no notice. It was the most revolting thing you could probably ever see in your life, which is why Ginny immediately took a very in-your-face mode to try to stop them.  
  
"GET OFF OF HIM!" Ginny couldn't stand it any more, she rushed down the final flight of stairs between her and the revolting couple and began to help Harry pull a stubborn Draco off of him. After all, it was a rather appropriate thing to do because a) she caused the problem in the first place and b) it was just the right thing to do for someone who's practically your brother.  
  
Draco hooked himself securely onto the couch and refused to allow himself to be moved forcing Ginny to take extreme measures. Which is why Draco let out a yelp of pain when a set of teeth sank into his calf. To further that effect he jumped about 15 feet in the air and landed on his bum a few feet away.  
  
"What the BLOODY HELL was that?!" He commenced to nurse his calf, holding it close to him and slobbering all over it.  
  
Harry, for god knows how many times that day, decided he was going to lock himself in the Boys' Dorm. He didn't bother to be subtle about it either, it was quite clear that it was The-Boy-Who-Lived that was running and screaming for forgiveness at over the top of his lungs. It wasn't a very attractive sound.  
  
"HINKY PO!" Draco tried to jump up and run after Harry but his cloak was not in a very strategic place thus making him trip on it and land smack on his face. It didn't seem like there was enough space between where his head was and the floor but it was enough of a distance to make whoever whacked their head feel considerable pain. He lay senseless for a few moments then he popped right back up and he made another dash for it, which led to exactly the same ending. Except this time he was going nowhere because Ginny yanked on his cloak and hoisted him up.  
  
Ginny wasn't making any particular notice of what Draco was doing when she pulled him up. If she had she probably would've burst out laughing. After all, it isn't often that you get to see Draco practically hanging in the air with a disapproving frown on his face and his fingers tapping angrily on the side of him arm.  
  
"What the hell are YOU doing here, Weasley?" Draco held the same disapproving air that reminded Ginny of Hermione before she had loosened up on being perfect academically.  
  
It was Draco's response to Ginny's action that made her come up with a very good idea. "Weasley? Weasley...... What ever made you think I was Weasley?" Ginny came forward and pulled him towards her with the tie of his cloak with a very amused seductiveness, which was by all means false.  
  
"Hinky Po?" Draco's voice came out in a high squeak as he looked questioningly at her.  
  
She pulled him the rest of the way in and looked him straight in the eye, trying not to laugh. "How'd you guess?" Then she did let out a short bark of a laugh that she hadn't been able to hold in, but Draco thought it had been supposed to be seductive.  
  
"HINKY PO!" Draco shrieked out and made a further lunge forward and tried to snog her. Not that he could lunge forward very far because Ginny had already taken care of the part where they were standing really close together. Let's just say the snogging didn't go to well either because Ginny had turned her head so all he managed to do was slobber all over her cheek.  
  
Ginny slipped out of his grasp and ran behind the couch. "Yeah, and this Hinky Po DOESN'T WANT TO BE TOUCHED!"  
  
Draco jumped over the back of the couch causing it to flip over and land on its side. The pillows scattered around and he tripped over several of them in quick succession making him look like some brake dancer doing an exceptionally bad routine. Mostly because it looked so discoordinated and it looked like he was going to fall on his face the whole time.  
  
Ginny looked back at the mess and banged on the Boy's Dorm door. "Harry! Let me in! I swear...I got you off the hook! Let me in!!!!" She rattled the door violently at the last part. "God blast it. Where's the old wand when you need it?"  
  
Draco recovered form his brake dancing incident and flung himself at her. Ginny saw him at the last minute and ducked, which meant that Draco jumped head first into the door. "Mummy...make the flower pot men go away...they're scaring me......"  
  
"Harry! Open up! I swear to you Malfoy's not in the state to take over the Boy's Dorm!" Ginny paused. "FOR GOD'S SAKE HARRY, HE'S TALKING ABOUT THE FLOWER POT MEN!"  
  
Draco jerked up suddenly and Ginny froze and pressed against the door so that Draco couldn't see her. Instead he whacked himself and jumped up on his knees and began swatting the 'flower pot men.' After about two seconds of doing that he fell over dead to the world.  
  
"HARRY IF YOU DON'T LET ME IN THIS INSTANT I SWEAR TO YOU THAT I WILL ACCIO INTO THAT ROOM IN ABOUT TWO SECONDS AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT AGAIN!" Still no response came from inside the door.  
  
"Okay, Harry, I warned you." Ginny muttered under her breath and marched up the stairs to the girl's dormitories.  
  
"Hinky Po your bum looks so tasty, Tinky-Winky wants to taste it. Come here." Draco opened his eyes slightly to look up at her.  
  
Ginny shoved her bum out of line of view of Draco. "Tinky-winky ain't going to get a taste of this 'bum' at any time in the future or the present for that matter."  
  
"Hmmm.....So I get to court you in every room in the Gryffndor tower. Well, I'll be looking forward to the bedrooms especially." Draco found a new wave of energy and waged another chase. Which sent Ginny sprinting into the Girl's Dormitory.  
  
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Ron was having good fun by having a quick peek at the bedroom of some Ravenclaw girl as she was changing. And lucky for him, she was changing right in front of the window. To add to the fun he brought popcorn and some more pervey friends of his, like Seamus. It was quite brilliant that the professors decided to give the seventh years a free period to 'study.' Of course, who ever thought that this time was going to be used to 'study' was about fifty years behind the times and still wearing tartan cloaks.  
  
There was one thing that was bothering Ron just a little, the fact that he couldn't find Harry anywhere. But that wasn't going to bother him so much that he wouldn't enjoy the view.  
  
"Come on! Take it off! OFF I SAY!" Ron hooted up at the window.  
  
"Wooooooohoooooooooooooo! There it goes fellows!" Seamus shouted in a loud voice back. You could tell they were rather happy, her shirt had just flown off.  
  
"Wow, she's HUGE!" Ron's eyes bulged.  
  
"What are you talking about? They're perfect!" Seamus sat back down and punched Ron on the shoulder.  
  
"Well- awwwwwwwwwww shucks man. She's done." Ron glanced back up at the window and sighed.  
  
"God, she was fast today. You think she knows about this?" Seamus looked worriedly at Ron.  
  
"Of course not." Ron said in certainty. Seamus looked relieved.  
  
"Well, I'm going to go check out the other towers. If you see anything else good just get it on the Binos." Seamus indicated the special binoculars that Ron had gotten at the Quittich Cup. Ron could see Seamus take a short cut across to another Quittich stand to look at the Hufflepuff tower.  
  
Ron sighed and looked back through the binoculars and looked at the Gryffindor tower for a few seconds before putting the binoculars down. He immediately put them back up. Did he just see a flash of read hair? Ron looked around the tower again but he didn't se anything until WHAM Ginny ran past the window followed closely by somebody with very white blonde hair. They went out of the view of the window. Ron focused in closer to get a better view of what was going on with his sister.  
  
The red head came back into view, but just barely, and only because she tripped over something and fell in direct view of the binoculars. The blond boy ran right in front of the mirror and looked down with a grin on his face. Ron zoomed in closer and them abruptly dropped his binos.  
  
"Malfoy? Ginny? What the hell?" He picked them back up and looked again. Just as he brought them up again he saw Draco jump down on something, but he couldn't see what. Ron hit the rewind button and viewed the whole thing again, and again. His brain short circuited for a moment then his face turned purplish red and he stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs. "MALFOY! GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!"  
  
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A/N Sorry if this seems really pervey, especially at the place when Ron and Seamus are looking at the girl changing. PLEASE REVIEW! Actually I don't really care but, hey, its nice to have reviews. 


	10. Reversio

A/N Sorry for taking so long to write this chapter, or in reality, type it and up load it. My excuse is that I am sick and tired of this story and the next chapter I writ will be the last. Yipee! Everything is done basically and the ending will not be a disappointment. But there will be more laughs to come. I guess that's part of the reason I an having difficulty writing the end of this story, I am back in morbid mode and writing another story about killing people. Oh, there will be a little D/G in the next chapter.  
  
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The chase was on, and Ginny was in no means pleased by the way things were turning out. She had never realized that Harry was so focused on himself and on no one else. Stupid bloody bugger had locked her out of the Boys dorm so she could hide. You would think that Harry would at least be nice enough to let her in, but nooo she had to run around trying to get away from a very hyperactive Draco who seemed liked he had a cross between being sugar-high and being stoned. It was very hard to tell which was which.  
  
"I SMELL YOU!" Draco shrieked through his teeth with his gleeful grin fixed blissfully on his face. He was creeping around the girls dorm trying to find Ginny, his new focus of project 'hinky-po', he was quite unaware of the fact that Ginny was hiding out under one of the beds.  
  
Ginny nearly jumped out of her skin when he yelled. She hadn't realized he was so close. The wood thumped loudly against her hard skull when she jerked. "Gees, I never thought I be so happy to have a thick head." She muttered to herself.  
  
Draco halted abruptly at the loud thump she had made and turned to face the bed she was under. There were a few toes sticking out from underneath. Ginny had no idea though.  
  
"Yummmm.. Tasty toes.." Draco rubbed his hands together in anticipation. He advanced slowly and knelt down slowly until he was at level with her toes. Ginny could not see this advance since her body was blocking any view she had of him. "MMMM.." Slowly he started chewing on them.  
  
"BLOODY HELL!" Ginny whacked herself on the top of the bed again and kicked Draco directly in the face. He stopped chewing but his teeth were still clamped over her toes.  
  
Ginny ripped them out of his mouth with disgusted fright. It was now seemingly very often that one get to see Draco with drool hanging out of his mouth. She remembered what happened what happened last time Draco was stunned so she streaked out from under the bed and began looking madly for her wand.  
  
"Mcgonagall can not care that I am using magic against a student especially a." Ginny turned and looked at the still stunned Draco."....Malfoy." It wasn't much of a comment but she felt all the better about using magic.  
  
"Mummy the flower pot men are still here..." Draco sat up with a long line of drool still hanging out of his mouth. This time, though, he had a lampshade covering his head.  
  
Ginny stared at him for a moment thinking wither or not she should make a run for it. Not that it would help her much to run now. She still hadn't found her wand. With a slight hesitation she turned back around and looked through her chest again.  
  
"HINKY PO!" Draco screamed at her back. Again, he made a run for her.  
  
"Oh, hell." She looked at the chest again with a quick glance and spotted her wand. Not that she had to use it because the lampshade prevented Draco from seeing anything so he ran right into one of the pillars. And fell over. And started talking about the flower pot men again.  
  
Ginny rolled her eyes a little and decided it was okay to just drag Draco out of the Tower and just dump him there. Maybe she would fix him....or maybe she wouldn't. After all, Harry was being a total bastard, it was the perfect curse to follow him around.  
  
'But not Draco, he's too adorable' Ginny cocked her head to the side and shot a glance at Draco. There was a line or drool hanging out of his mouth.  
  
'But only adorable, when he's not drooling' Ginny wrinkled her nose in disgust. 'And he's a cold hearted Carbonn most of the time anyway'  
  
She grabbed the lapel of his cloak (since there was very little else she could use to drag him by) and dragged him mercilessly out of the Gryffindor Tower, the occasional gurgle could be heard coming from Draco's throat. After all, Ginny was practically choking him. Then she dumped him outside of the portal and pulled out her wand to see what she could do to the curse.  
  
This was unfortunately the time that Draco chose to come back at full throttle.  
  
"RAAAAAAAAAR!" He jumped at Ginny and landed right on top of her. Ginny winced slightly when she felt the stone ram right into her shoulder blades. It didn't help much either that he knocked the wind right out of her.  
  
"Blimey, what the hell was that all about?" Ginny grunted and rolled over so she was sitting on Draco instead. He looked rather happy about the whole thing, and it was pissing Ginny off in a way it shouldn't have pissed her off. She pointed her wand at his neck. "Reversio."  
  
There was a flash, it blinded both Ginny and Draco for a few seconds. The air retained its unnaturally bright gleam and then faded gradually back to the normal color. Ginny blinked. Draco blinked. They both looked at each other for a moment still comprehending what had happened. Ginny blinked again. Draco blinked again. Both of them were still staring at each other, until Ginny looked away in embarrassment. But neither said a thing the whole time.  
  
"Ginny!" There was a loud gasp coming from behind them. Both of them turned their heads sharply to look at the intruder. It was...Mcgonagall? Ginny stared at Mcgonagall for an extremely long time trying to figure out what was different about her, or if it really could be Mcgonagall at all. She had the same glasses, the same nose, the same clothes, the same expression, the same...  
  
Ginny looked pleased with herself for a moment when she finally got what had changed. Her hair had become her original color of dark brown, her wrinkles were no more, her voice wasn't so gravelly, and her hands were no longer so veined. She had taken a youth potion. While Ginny had only taken a few moments Draco was still recovering from his anti-Hinky-Po spell and was still wondering why Mcgonagall seemed so different.  
  
"Ginny, rolling around on other students is not part of the assigned curriculum at this school, and I very much doubt it will improve your academic status is APPROVED ways. Fifty points from Gryffindor. Not to mention you're late for Defense Against the Dark Arts for the second time this semester. Really Ginny, I don't know what I'm going to do with you." Mcgonagall had on a face of hardness. It was exactly the same expression as it had been before the youth potion.  
  
Ginny dropped her jaw at Mcgonagall. She couldn't be serious......she just couldn't be. "But Mcgonagall! He's stark raving naked!"  
  
"No he isn't." A devilish grin crossed the younger Mcgonagall's features, and although it was quite scary to think about Mcgonagall having that kind of expression at least it looked relatively good. "Not yet any way."  
  
Ginny gaped at Mcgonagall, then at Draco, who looking rather calm.  
  
Mcgonagall's attentions immediately shifted from Ginny onto Draco, another devilish grin crossed her face. "Draco, would you like a spot of tea in the professor's lounge? More specifically in my office....on the desk, how does that sound?"  
  
Draco hesitated a moment while he looked at Ginny's expression back to Mcgonagall and then back to Ginny. Ginny was making crazy faces and making drool come out of her mouth in exaggeration.  
  
"Wha-" Draco started saying to Ginny but she elbowed him hard and made more stupid faces.  
  
Something in his brain clicked finally and he grabbed Ginny and hugged her tight. She made loud hurling noises under her breath.  
  
"Idiot! Mcgonagall's hitting on you. Just act like an idiot and play along okay? You can get out of this soon enough." Ginny hissed in his ear then started to pretend to cough.  
  
Draco slipped back into his Tinky-Winky mode and let go of Ginny as he began to drool. "Is Hinky Po in your office?"  
  
"I'm not sure what a Hinky Po is but whatever it is I'm sure you can find it in my office."  
  
"Hinky Po's in your office?" The line of drool became thicker.  
  
"Yes, Draco, now come on." Mcgonagall was dragging a very frightened looking Draco by the arm.  
  
As he was pulled away he could hear Ginny talk to him. "We can talk later."  
  
Ginny crossed her arms and looked in disgust at Mcgonagall and Draco. "Mcgonagall, you know in America it is against the law to have romantic relationships with your students-"  
  
"Which is why I am proud to be living in Britain. And anyway, what do muggles have to do with us?" Mcgonagall kept on walking. "Oh, and Ginny, if you don't move along I might just be in the right state of mind to take away fifty more points away from Gryffindor."  
  
That was all Ginny needed to scamper out of there before everyone in the Gryffindor tower began yelling at her for losing over a hundred points in one day.  
  
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Ginny turned the corner and immediately ran into a flustered Ron. She burst out laughing at the first sight of him. His red hair looked as if it had taken style advice from alfalfa, it was sticking out all over the place. Unfortunately for him he also had another feature that was accentuated by the red hair. It was the tip of his long Weasleyish nose that had turned cherry red and was quite literally glowing.  
  
Ron looked even angrier at this spurt of laughter. "If you wanted to shag someone that bad you could've asked Harry! He hasn't had a decent shag in a week."  
  
"I was NOT shagging anyone, thank you very much, but how the hell would you know about that?" Ginny's own face grew pinched and red at the very suggestion of her shagging someone. It was, after all, a well-known fact that she was totally inexperienced in that area.  
  
"It is my business when my sister gets shagged by Malfoy. So how'd it go?" Ron's whole face turned red when he realized what he was saying.  
  
"It is NOT you're business, but why are you making conclusions about this?" Ginny turned back to normal color and she placed her hands on her hips.  
  
There was no answer.  
  
Ginny laughed again, except this time with realization. "I see, more 'voyer'ing? That is VERY naughty of you. I'm not sure mum would like to hear about this."  
  
"You wouldn't-" Ron looked as if he was going to try and rip the stuffing out of her.  
  
"And Faith, I'm sure, would be quite interested to know that my brother is watching her change." Ginny looked slightly smug, she had a small smile on her face.  
  
"How- How-" For once in his life Ron Weasley was at loss for words.  
  
"I can just see it now. Dear Faith, Ron has an extraordinary interest in you. In fact, he especially enjoys the part where you change-" Ginny's smile grew bigger as she talked.  
  
"You wouldn't-" For yet the second time in Ron's life he was at loss for words.  
  
"It requires a lot of popcorn and a few friends. And what about mother-" Ginny counted off her fingers as she was recalling what they needed.  
  
"I'M NOT THE ONE WHO'S BEEN SHAGGING MALFOY!" Finally Ron lost his temper and began yelling at her. At the same time his skin was turning a rather mottled color.  
  
"I have not been shagging Malfoy, if I had I'm sure it would've included more then just shagging." Ginny stated like a fact and didn't even blush.  
  
It was a different story for Ron though, who, by now, had turned several shades of red before finally just settling on white. He looked ghastly at Ginny's comment. "I'm writing to mum about this."  
  
"You could but you wouldn't get anywhere, because, you see, I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY SHAGGED MALFOY!" Ginny screamed at Ron and clenched her fists at her sides. She was just getting it into her head that maybe Malfoy would make a better brother now then Ron was.  
  
Bad thought. If he were your brother you wouldn't be able to shag him.  
  
"Yes, but it would make a great excuse to have you moved away from me." Ron looked pleased at the discovery he just made.  
  
"Well, I'm quite happy where I am, thank you very much, and if you dare try to move me I am going to tell every one you and Pansy have been shagging in the library for the last week." Ginny folded her arms over her chest and pursed her lips in angry amusement. It was not a good thing to see Ginny in this state, she could get....ideas....in her head.  
  
"I have not shagged Pansy-" Ron sputtered.  
  
"I have PICTURES." Ginny brought up her ever-ready Kadok and tapped it lightly with her pointer finger.  
  
"You little-" Ron made the start of an attempt to launch himself at her put she stopped him.  
  
"So I suggest you keep this piece of imagination locked up in that thimble of yours and I'll keep it hushed about you and Pansy. Because I'm quite sure Hermione would be heart broken to hear her dream man has been shagging another."  
  
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A/N I haven't written a new chapter in a very long time but that doesn't mean you should forget about me. *sniff* *sniff* Anyway, REVIEW IF YOU WANT MORE! 


	11. Author's Note

A/N  
  
I know I haven't updated in a really long time, but I have good news for you, and I have bad news. The good news is that I am done with the last chapter; the bad news is that it is on a computer at school that I will probably not see in a really long time. So the next chapter may come out in a few days or it might come out in a few months. Don't freak though, it will come out some time or another. Don't forget about this story in the meantime. Adios me amigos locos. 


	12. Thank You Hickies

A/N The end the end THE END!!!! THANK GOD I'M SO GLAD THIS IS OVER!!!!!!! Oh, and thank you so so so much piglet (mac) for bringing me the disk. Without you the end would've always hung in the air. P.S. If you want a sequel I have some ideas but I'm not posting anything unless people want me to. Enjoy!  
  
The hands on the clock ticked insistently forward. Tick, tock, tick, tock, and so forth it went. The shortest hand rolled forward and struck the 12 o'clock position. For a moment it stopped, everything froze.  
  
'CU-KOO! CU-KOO!" The sadistic yellow bird popped out of its little house and cuckooed like a maniac.  
  
"Bloody-!" Ginny's head jerked up at the sound. Her forehead was white where it had rested on her arm; the line across her forehead was in a very distinct L shape. The flaming red hair that was so well known as a Weasley trademark was static and sticking out all over the place.  
  
The bird stopped and turned to face Ginny. "CUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- KOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
"Oh, shut up." Ginny laid her head back down and slumped her body over the desk. "SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!" The Bird cocked its head towards her again, this time snapping its beak.  
  
There was an astounding thud as Ginny slammed her fists into the hard wood of the desk. "That just DOES it for me." She proceeded to slam her feet into the floor and stomp over to the bird who was still screaming at the top of its lungs 'shut up.'  
  
"DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING BETTER TO SAY YOU STUPID CANARY! IF YOU SAY 'SHUT UP' ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR I WILL DUMP YOU IN THE LAKE!"  
  
"LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"  
  
"THAT WORKS TOO!" Ginny grabbed the canary by the head and was jumping up and down to remove it from the house.  
  
"RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARKKKKKKK!" The bird frantically tried to claw its way out of her clasp.  
  
"STUPID CANARY!" The big Grandfather clock toppled over and smashed into the floor, a million of its pieces scattered all over.  
  
Ginny smiled happily and smacked her hands like she had just done something very pleasing. "Whew, I needed to get that out of my system." She ran her hand through her hair and plopped her self down onto the couch to complete her late night snooze.  
  
There had been a lot of noise when she and the sadistic canary were having their little screaming fest so nearly everyone in the tower was awake. Including a very pissed off brother and a frightened Harry (he's always frightened).  
  
A very disturbed crowd was gathering in the common room and staring at the smashed clock and Ginny, who was still laying on the couch and was completely unaware of the mob, at different intervals. Some were still dragging there blankets around there feet as they came to check out what was going on.  
  
"UH, Gin? You okay?" Hermione said in a sloppy mono tone and rubbed her eyes in drowsiness at the top of the stairs. Her hair was also very static and many more pieces of hair were getting all over the place.  
  
"You could at least remember that there are others of us who sleep here you know?" Ron had his arms crossed and lips pursed in a very pissy expression.  
  
"Go prey on your own piss." Ginny muttered under her breath and squinted at Ron.  
  
"Excuse me?" Ron looked shocked.  
  
"You heard me. So sod off." She rolled over and pressed her nose into the pillow.  
  
"I am your older brother I do not have to 'sod off!'"  
  
"Go screw Pansy or something." Ginny said loud enough that the whole common room heard it.  
  
At first there was silence, everyone was in shock. There was a loud hiccupping sob at the top of the stairs. "Ron, how COULD you?"  
  
"Hermione?! NO, wait! It wasn't like that." Ron ran after the sobbing Hermione and disappeared into the girls dormitories.  
  
"That applies to the rest of you too, I'm sure you don't want to wake up in the middle of the night because I'm singing the snogging song because I warn you I will use it."  
  
This was the most annoying song there was in Hogwarts and possibly the most perverted one sung by girls. Well, that threat worked pretty well because soon enough no one was left in the common room but Ginny couldn't help but add a final touch.  
  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I HAVE A BEDPAN FULL OF UNCHARTED SUBSTANCES! THOSE WHO GET IN MY WAY WILL RECEIVE THIS OH MIGHTY GIFT!!!!!! BOW BEFORE ME FOR I AM GREAT!" There was no more talking after that little line and the tower was thrown into silence again.  
  
"RON! RONNIKINS! I'M GOING TO GO SHAG DRACO RIGHT NOW, DON'T TRY TO STOP ME!" Ginny shouted up the stairs.  
  
"YOU WOULDN'T DARE-" Ron screamed back at her. He was cut off by another sobbing gasp and then-  
  
"Not Draco too....." It was Hermione's small but now extremely pissed off voice.  
  
"No-"  
  
"LIAR!" Hermione screamed at Ron and began pummeling him very noisily with her feet and fists. There was a loud 'bang' above Ginny's head. She glanced up to see a long crack spread over the ceiling.  
  
"I think I have a fracture........"  
  
"YEAH? WELL YOU DESERVE IT!" Then the loud thumps started up again.  
  
Ginny grinned and stepped through the portrait.  
  
"So, Draco. You never came back to talk to me."  
  
Draco was laying on his bed face down as he read a book. Or at least he WAS. Now he was completely turned over and looking like the snotty rich kid he was.  
  
"And what are YOU doing here." Draco's lips lifted in a sneer.  
  
"Enjoying seeing you in your boxers." Ginny smirked right back at him, stealing his well known signature smirk. "So, what's that you're reading?"  
  
What ever distance was between him and the doorway was now diminished, Ginny was now standing over him. Then his book was gone from his grasp.  
  
"Hmmmm. 101 ways to have an orgasm. Are you sure you're old enough to read this? Then again, I guess that's not a surprise, I always figured you were a pervert." She flipped through. "It's not very creative, is it? What else do you have there?"  
  
"Give it back." Draco growled under his breath.  
  
"Not until I've gotten my thanks." Ginny held it further out of his reach and backed away from the bed side.  
  
"Thanks for what?" Now Draco did look very bewildered.  
  
"You don't remember?"  
  
"REMEMBER WHAT?!" Draco was beginning to look anxious.  
  
"Hmmm. Let's see. Taking the Teletubby/Harry Potter curse off of you."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Yes, it was really quite amusing, you even managed to kiss Harry." Ginny looked satisfied at his outraged expression.  
  
He shrieked a bit and gagged. "I? The attractive ladies man? Kissed Harry? Erlack! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!" He calmed down a bit and then had a very thoughtful expression on his face. "I wonder if he was good?"  
  
"I think you thought so since you kept on going back for more."  
  
He shuddered involuntarily. "Did I.....?"  
  
"No, not that I know of."  
  
A long breath of air was released from between his lips. "And who, may I ask, put the curse on me?" Draco got up from the bed and tried to reach for the book while she was answering.  
  
Ginny looked away a little sheepishly. "Well....um.......I did."  
  
Draco stopped reaching for it abruptly. "YOU WHAT?!"  
  
"Well you deserved it, it was your own fault any way." Ginny pursed her lips and looked sulkily at the wall.  
  
"You are invading the room and I expect you to get out... Immediately. Stupid Weasley filth."  
  
"Fine you asshole, I'll just leave it on next time. It was a pleasant improvement from the way you used to be. 'Where's Harry? Must find Harry! I need my Hinky Po.'" She turned to slam out the door but turned back before leaving. "I still deserve a thank you." Her silhouette stood still in the door frame.  
  
"You know you are absolutely right."  
  
Ginny looked up at him with surprise as he stood over her with a very serious expression. It was almost as if... Well no, that would never happen, but it really seemed like it. Not that she would allow him to. And then, just when she was expecting the all glory moment when she would get to see him humble to her, he grabbed his book and slammed the door in her face. She practically screamed in exasperation.  
  
"DRACO, I AM NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU THANK ME!"  
  
From his safe position within he could hear her yelling at him with venom, he flopped back onto the bed and resumed where he left off.  
  
"FINE YOU WON'T LET ME IN? I'LL ANNOY YOU INTO IT! 0 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL 0 BOTTLES OF BEER UP CHUCK SPIT IT UP, 1 BOTTLE OF BEER ON THE WALL!" And on it went.  
  
Ginny continued to scream at the top of her lungs in order to be heard, but was quickly becoming tired. Soon she was leaning against the locked door still muttering the tune. Her back slammed up against the door with such force that it rattled in its socket. The excitement of the day was really getting to her.  
  
"789 bottles of beer on the wall 789 bottles of beer on the wall, up chuck spit it up 790 bottles of beer on the-"  
  
Suddenly the door opened and she fell through the blank space where a solid object had been. The sight of grey eyes a good way above greeted her.  
  
"-wall. Hi." All of a sudden she felt very shy.  
  
"Hi."  
  
Hands encircled her forearms and dragged her to her feet. Ginny also noted that it was very strange to be this close to a normal Draco. Before it was amusing, kind of like 'just keep this child out of trouble.' Now he was a very sane and, Ginny thought reluctantly, was very attractive. Well, now was a weird time to notice that but before he was being a prick and then he was a queer, for a whole day.  
  
'No, just has a nice ass. Not to squishy, not too hard,' she thought to herself. "You still haven't thanked me. I'm waiting." She crossed her arms below her chest and kept a solid eye on him.  
  
His bleach blonde hair swept across his forehead as he leaned forward. What on earth was he doing? Ginny was about to ask him when his lips caught hers. Her eyes widened in surprise and she gave a little shriek but he didn't stop. It was quite nice. So for about an hour or two they just stood there first practicing Newton's law of gravity with their lips and then moved on from there to play a bit of tongue hockey. Dug up the treasures buried somewhere deep inside the ear with their burrowing tongues and then proceeded to practice the classic vampire stuff (modern vampires don't bite, instead they take out their screwdrivers to make a large hole). But like all good things it had to stop eventually. Silently Draco pushed away and said good night leaving Ginny cross eyed and mentally paraplegic.  
  
That was the perfect ending to a night, Ginny slept soundly.  
  
Ginny was bright and cheerful the next morning, post-April Fools day was the best day of the year so far. Although April Fools day hadn't turned out to be a complete disaster, in fact, considering the ending it was also competing for best day. She hummed and pranced around the dorm room spritzing perfume onto her neck and wrists.  
  
As she leaned towards the mirror to rub in the liquid she noticed something purple on her neck. 'Ahhh, he must've left a hickey.' She gazed wistfully at nothing for a moment before brushing back her hair. That was when it hit her. The hickey, that hickey residing on her neck, that was no normal hickey.  
  
"Have you ever tried to pick up a straw with your buttocks?" Was bruised all the way down the side of her neck in large looping letters.  
  
She screamed.  
  
A/N I know you probably wanted Draco and Ginny to get together but this story isn't exactly a D/G Romance vehicle. I let them have a kiss, but this is the end so if you want a real D/G check out my new story Muggle Awareness Program.  
  
Thank you all my lovely reviewers, I'll never forget you! 


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